Just mADE A PArabola og urine
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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