I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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