At least make sure they are 18
Why
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
