Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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