i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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