He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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