You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize