A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Tell her she can't have a vagina
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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