shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Randomize
