omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
