Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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