someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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