sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
