he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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