She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize