she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
