it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
