Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
