i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
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