I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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