I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
This toilet bowl is my home.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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