yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
