I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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