i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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