K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
