You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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