none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I'm getting married
To pizza
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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