I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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