As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
