he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
