just survived the first fart of the relationship.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
