Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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