i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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