to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
