The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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