Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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