This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
