i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
