so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
