I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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