That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I forget how to act sober
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
