i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
