I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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