she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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