I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
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did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
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Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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