so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
