i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
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He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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