would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
