The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
