I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
