I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
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he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
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There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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