hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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