I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
