either way he was missing a nipple.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
