i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
