New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Randomize
