so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
