he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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