Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
