does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
