I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Randomize