She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
