I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
