Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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