I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?