You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
