he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Life is so much better after having sex.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
