Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Life without a bra equals bliss.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
