you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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