The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
