Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
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I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
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